1 Pain
Poison in one hand and the phone
with another. Today is the last day of mine and I wish the death to be less
pain. I have nobody to call. Everybody in their life are so happy but I am not.
In last, I would like to thank social media for make me to feel as looser.
Somebody is always hanging out
with friends, I am not
Somebody is always having their
food in expensive restaurants, I am not
Somebody always travelling to
fill their travelling dairies, I am not
Somebody always buying the
expensive things, I am not
All the people around me are
happy and I am not. I am very much dis satisfied and depressed with life. I am
feeling the pain and unable to bear it at all. The only medication is Death
Wish. Yes, I want to kill my-self. To justify my choice, I opened social media
feed, dragging down and found as always everybody is happy.
Hold on, Hold on - What I am
seeing is true? To confirm the news, I made a few calls and found that my
friend is no more. He is also like somebody and he died due to a rare disease.
The disease sounds like a tongue twister. All the sudden my mood got changed
and I want to attend his funeral.
In funeral, very few relatives
and close friends are attended. I am least expected to attend. The rituals got
completed, everybody is giving their consolidation to the family and leaving. I
am out of my mind thinking where are the friends whom he always hanging out in
the pictures posted on social media.
I had chat with the family, the
last days to him are very terrible. He wants to live and get back to his normal
life. He fought like a brave wounded solider with death. Somebody win means
somebody loose and now the death won and loss is to the family. The family is
in so much pain.
I never thought about my family and their
unconditional love. They are not expected anything from me. I lost my mind in
thoughts and walking. I hit the rock with foot, a cut and the bleeding. I saw an
ashram near and went inside to stop my bleeding. A saint in the entrance saw me
and smiled. He did first aid to me and said the guru is waiting for you.
Neither
rich nor poor
The ashram was very quite and
peaceful. Everybody is engaged with work likes of reading, sewing, cleaning,
counting chants. The saint guided me to a room where the guru is sitting. The
guru noticed me while entering to the room and saint directed me to sit a side
and mention the guru will call you to speak until wait.
I sat very calmly but my mind was
not. My mind was started questioning, Why guru call’s me? How the guru knows I
will come here? Meanwhile, the guru called me and poses a question why are you
here? Here for first aid I answered. Not here in funeral. I started telling
what happened yesterday with me and reason for attending the funeral.
Son, I will tell you a story
which may or may not give a solution to the problem. But gives some wisdom to
solve your problem. Earlier in the town there is only one school. Either you
are rich or poor you need to attend the same school if you want to study. There
are two guys in the school not friends, unknowingly both are noticing
each-others life.
Poor is miserable what the rich guy has and rich is miserable
for what the poor guy has. The rich will drop to the school by the servant and
poor by one of the parents or alone sometimes. Rich will buy what he wants
outside the school and the poor wanted to be like him. The poor walks alone to
the home, In middle he plays with mud, talk with strangers and vice-versa the
rich wanted to be like him.
The poor and rich doesn’t know
the life of both outside the schools. The rich when goes to home nobody there
to speak with him. Mom is busy in the kitchen, Dad is busy with business. He wants
to go out, play in mud, talk with strangers. Instead he will do reading, eating
food and follow the routine. The rich is happy when his father bought him a new
fancy items what every child dream off. Picnics, family trips are part of the
life.
The poor has a very different circumstances, he need to work on the
father’s farm after schooling. For poor, he was even not dare to dream of buy
fancy children stuff because in so many nights he slept with half-filled
stomach. The poor has a very rich social life. The neighbors will tell stories,
play with other kids, playing in farms, swimming in lakes and celebrating festivals
with whole group living there.
After 20 years they both met each
other and shared their thoughts about each other. The poor said to the the
rich, how lucky he was and being poor what are the opportunities he missed. Due
to lack of capital, he never started a business. By being poor he never bought
any fancy items but doing well in life. The rich started saying, how his father
is dictating his life, having very less quality family time and mentioning how
lucky the poor is having a great family and free to do what he wants.
The moral of the story is neither
poor nor rich appreciated what they have. They both are always miserable for
what they don’t have.
God said – “In pursuit of happiness, appreciate what you have, work for what you want and never ever compare with others”.
The god
designed the life with a perfect blend problems, sadness, success, failures and
happiness. Each one is interrelated with another if you succeed you will be
happy and if you fail you will be sad. Never allows your mind to think of being
another, nobody know other person circumstances. Every-body will approach the
life in a different way.
In last the guru said “Be happy do progress and never harm.”
1 Physically
not mentally
In the room, I sat around the
corner thinking of guru words. This is the same room yesterday I was thinking
about suicide and today I am thinking about life.
Thanking god for what
happened yesterday. If I doesn’t open my social media account, Today all my
relatives are attending my funeral. I am very terrified on how other’s think
about me on my funeral may be as a looser, quitter or some other bad words. My
family, what will happened to them.
As guru said, I need to appreciate what the
things I have.
I own a house, not mansion but
bigI own a car, not lavish but
comfortI have a family, not big but
greatI am doing well in my life, not
superb but great
I am settled in life physically
not mentally.
The reasons for my suicide is
stupid. I am never out of my comfort zone. If life starts embrace me with
difficult situations, I am very weak to fought.
Today I pledge to my self
I never ever compare my life with othersI appreciate the things what I haveI will stop worrying and start doing things which makes me betterI will stand up like a warrior on problems throw by life to meLast, I am not here to solve the world greatest problems.I am not here to be rich and famous.I am here to do something good with my life and to help others.
My life has purpose and I will start leading
my life to fulfill my purpose. In dark, we are horrified but when light comes
the dark will leave. As same, all we need is courage to wait for light when we
are in dark. All we need to do is wait for the light and believe the light will
come.
